What's wrong with being friends with benefits?

The problem with being friends with benefits is that you aren't being a friend, and you aren't getting the benefits you think. All that you have is two people who agree to use each other. This type of arrangement is especially common on college campuses, where dating is almost extinct.

One reason why the whole idea of courting a woman in college is almost non-existent is because if a man can receive all the physical benefits of marriage without even so much as knowing a girl's last name, don't expect him to pop the question anytime soon (much less woo you with real romance). This is why prostitutes don't seem to work near college campuses. They would go out of business, because it's free at the parties. You just give a girl a beer, tell her she's pretty, and the hook-up begins.

But no woman on earth is longing for a whole series of meaningless hook-ups and physical encounters with uncommitted men. They're looking for love, intimacy, and acceptance. But they may be willing to give away their bodies if it can make them feel desired, wanted, and cared for. I remember receiving an e-mail from a girl who said she had given oral sex to a number of guys because she wanted to be respected. The guys may have appreciated her efforts, but not a single one gained respect for her. It's like putting your money in a paper shredder so that you can have more cash.

My words have been so harsh against "friends with benefits" because we deserve a love so much greater than all of this. There's this desire in all of us to make a total gift of ourselves. When it comes to friends with benefits, it's the opposite of what every one of us is made for. Instead of a total gift, it's a partial loan. That's why neither partner ends up satisfied. They aren't giving themselves. They're losing themselves. When two people agree to use each other, they're not being a friend to one another. They're just being slaves to their weaknesses.