I'm dating someone with a bad past who made complete 180 and is really pure now. The problem is that what this person did keeps haunting me. Any suggestions on how to get beyond this?

One reason why these thoughts keep coming to mind is probably because you are trying to push them down and out of your mind without dealing with them. Sweeping them under the rug will allow them to keep coming back to bug you. As I see it, the solution is not to repress these thoughts but to deal with them in a way that will help you to move forward. Here's how:

First, if the relationship is heading toward marriage, do not be afraid to talk to your boyfriend or girlfriend about the struggle you are having. If you do not feel ready for this, perhaps you can speak with a parent, teacher, friend, or counselor you respect. However, remember that good relationships require open and honest communication. Also, it is better that these issues come to the surface before marriage instead of within marriage.

When you bring up your concerns, make sure not to blame him or her for the past but rather express the fact that you want to work through this issue together. Share your insecurities, fears, or hurts, and allow the other person to love you. This will require some vulnerability on your part and some patience and empathy from him or her. If your love is strong and forgiving, the two of you will be able to overcome this difficulty. In the meantime, do not fear that these haunting thoughts of the past will never diminish. Over the course of time, you should feel greater peace as your love deepens.

Second, do not dwell on the past. When the thoughts come to mind, be grateful that your boyfriend/girlfriend is no longer living that lifestyle. Also, when the thoughts of his/her past come up, use that as a reminder to remain pure in your own relationship. That way, if the two of you don't end up getting married, your future spouses won't have any reason to be resentful of your relationship.

A guy once emailed me, who was in your situation, and he shared with me how he felt somewhat “gipped.” I can understand why he would feel that. However, we need to remember that we have not saved ourselves for the sake of getting, but for giving. So much of authentic love is simply about giving and not seeking something in return. If you become her husband, you will not receive the gift of her virginity. But you will receive something greater: the gift of herself. It would be sad to lose the gift of a person in pursuit of the gift of virginity. In fact, I know of one such couple who was nearing engagement, but ended up breaking off the relationship because the guy could not accept the girls past. It was really tragic, because he could not see that in failing to accept her past, he was forfeiting a beautiful future.