Sometimes when I'm with a girl, I know we should cool off, but it seems impossible. I honestly don't know how to do it. Any tips?

If you were getting physical with a girl, and her dad walked in the room, do you think you would be able to stop? Odds are, in the presence of her father you would instantly discover that you are capable of being abstinent.

So, now that we both agree that you have the ability to stop, and that your body will do what you tell it to, let's look at how you can cool things off.

If you know you're going too far, stop what you're doing, and tell your girlfriend what she means to you. Explain that you're not stopping because you don't like her, but because you respect her so much. You don't want to use her. You want to fall in love for the right reasons. If you're not even dating the girl, then she might not mean a lot to you. But you can at least tell her that you respect her too much to use her in this way.

Trust me, no girl would get mad about hearing this. It's understandable that many guys are afraid of saying no. The numerous stories of sexual conquests that they overhear in the locker room may make good guys think they are less of a man if they do not try to go as far with a woman as their classmates have. They may also fear that the girl will think less of them.

Personally, in cases where I said no to girls when things were moving too far, the girls explained that it made them feel more special. It was a relief that I was different from the other guys, who were just interested in one thing. It takes a lot of pressure off of her, and it gives you the freedom to truly love her.

As men, we have the duty to prove to women that good guys do exist. This is hard to prove, however, when our hormones are getting the best of us. Therefore, here's a rule to keep in mind when it comes to physical intimacy in the future: It's more difficult to stop a train that's going 60 mph than it is to strop one that's going 5 mph. The longer you wait to cool things off, the harder it will be to say no. This is just the way our bodies are made.

If you find yourself moving too fast, and you know you need to stop, here's one last idea: Kiss her forehead. You can use that as a signal that says, "I love you, but we need to cool off." However, don't plan ahead to use this strategy. In other words, don't think, "Now that I know how to stop the momentum, I'll rev up our desires, slam on the brakes, and then play the role of the good boy." If you wish to love her, don't do anything with her that you wouldn't do if her dad were about to walk in the door. This honors her, her dad, and your future spouse.