Isn't it hard to say "no" all the time?

Take a look at what surrounds you. If you constantly have to say no to various temptations, this may mean that you end up in tempting situations on a regular basis. There will always be temptations, but we should work to avoid putting ourselves in bad situations. If you listen to music with sexually explicit lyrics, watch MTV, spend time in risqué chat room conversations, look through swimsuit or Cosmopolitan magazines and so forth, you are pouring lighter fluid on the fire that you are trying to extinguish. If there are bad influences in your life, replace them. Find better music to listen to, good friends to hang out with, and decent books to read.

But there's more to your question than this. As I see it, there are two ways to live and to love. One sees temptations as obstacles to virtue, demanding a constant need to say “no!” in order to obey all kinds of rules. Every day is an exhausting struggle to avoid doing something bad. If we live like that, then it will be pretty hard to say no all the time.

Here is the alternative: Instead of living life focused on the rules, focus on love. When you say "no" to lust, you're actually saying "yes" to real love. Living the virtue of chastity now means that you cherish your future marriage more than passing pleasures. It also prepares you to be a better wife or husband because you will learn how to express intimacy without always needing to be physical. It has been said that when a couple has healthy intimacy, the closer the two become, the more they become themselves. When a couple is experiencing unhealthy intimacy, they usually feel as if they are losing their identity.

As you work toward the virtue of chastity, know that the desire to become pure is not something that comes from your body. There is no chastity gland located near your spleen, secreting abstinence hormones. Chastity arises from the will and is awakened and made possible by love. Granted, there will always be a tension between the desire for immediate gratification and the desire to do what we know is right. But if you make authentic love your goal, you will be able to overcome the passing temptation to settle for less.