How do you control sex drives? They can be a real pain sometimes—for girls as well as guys!

It is not wrong to have sexual desires. It is what we do with them in our thoughts, words, and actions that can be good or bad. So here are some tips for training.

Don't place yourself in relationships or situations where you know mistakes will happen. Sometimes we march right into tempting situations and then complain that the temptations were too strong to resist. Surround yourself with good friends, because they will build you up. Bad friends do the opposite. We may have heard our parents say that before, but research backs it up: when most of a teen’s friends are sexually active, that teen is 31 times as likely to get drunk and 22 times as likely to have smoked pot compared with teens who don’t hang out with sexually active friends.[1] Other researchers have noted, “only 4 percent of young people whose friends were not sexually active were sexually active themselves. Amongst those whose friends were sexually active, the figure was 43 percent.”[2]

If you watch MTV or vulgar sitcoms or if you read Cosmopolitan, Seventeen, or other things that are impure, get rid of them. Consider them love pollution. Also avoid being idle. This is the chief means by which we end up falling into lust. Keep yourself occupied with friends, service work, sports, hobbies, and similar activities.

This all requires a determination for purity. But consider how people deny themselves to get the perfect body. If people spent one-tenth that time caring for their morals, the world would be a different place. No one thinks a man is repressive if he eats healthy food to prepare for a marathon. In the same way, what you are preparing for—love and virtue—requires serious training. You will not be repressing your sexual desires but redirecting that energy toward selfless love.
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[1]. The National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse, “National Survey of American Attitudes on Substance Abuse IX: Teen Dating Practices and Sexual Activity,” Columbia University (August 2004), 6.
[2]. The Australian Family Association 7:1 (February 2001), as reported by Abstinence Network 5:1 (Spring 2001), 9.