All women deserve a man who has one thing on his mind: respecting you. Therefore, wait for a guy whose intention is to treat you with honor. Do not settle for less. You may be thinking, “Yeah, right. Where am I going to find a guy like that? I’ll be in a nursing home by the time he shows up.” Be patient. Too often people are so concerned with finding Mr. or Miss Right that they miss the opportunity to enjoy their single years.
I firmly believe that the strongest marriages are those in which both the man and the woman, prior to marriage, embraced the gift of singleness. Often we do not accept this gift because we are waiting for the gift of marriage or exhausting ourselves maintaining passing relationships. If a woman does not learn to be content now, then when she is married she may wish she were still single. After all, marriage does not change you internally; you are still the same person.
Before we can be happily married, we need to learn to be happily single. That way, our happiness is not dependent upon outside events but upon an inner joy. Besides, if a woman is happy and content in her present situation, she is more attractive.
The best husband and father will be a guy who is virtuous. So be two of a kind. If you want a man of character, become a similar woman. After all, men of virtue look for women of virtue. Imagine all of the characteristics that you look for in a spouse—that he be faithful, respectful, loving, pure, and so on—and ask yourself, “Judging by the way I live, do I deserve a guy like this?” If not, then become the woman who does. Everyone makes mistakes, but everyone is capable of turning things around and choosing to live a good life.
As you grow in virtue, you will have a tremendous impact on men. Many women become discouraged because of the kind of guys they meet at school. But the character of the men that a woman attracts largely rests in her hands. One woman said, “He will be as much of a gentleman as she requires.”[1] The fact is that the male desire to please females is a basic one, and a woman who sets high standards will be more likely to attract young men willing to meet them. If a young man wishes to enjoy a girl’s presence, he will not be afraid to be a gentleman. When a woman says that this is unrealistic, she will continue to be frustrated and settle for less. If only young women realized their power to help boys become men!
Set the standard high. Look for a guy who takes the initiative to set pure guidelines for the relationship. Imagine if all the young women in a high school or college decided to do this. Sure, many of them might not have dates the next weekend, but it would send a clear message to the boys that girls are serious about being loved. Guys would soon be inspired to become worthy of a woman.
Meanwhile, if you want to see the advice I offer guys to find good girls, click here.
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[1]. Elisabeth Elliot, Passion and Purity (Grand Rapids, Mich.: Revell, 1984), 145.