Let’s say you're in high school, and you meet a guy or girl whom you would love to be with forever, but marriage is still a decade away. What do you think would be more likely to last ten years: a high school relationship or a solid friendship? The friendship is more easily maintained, and will serve as a foundation for any lasting love that does unfold. Besides, what is the point of committing to someone when you know you’re probably going to break up when you go to college in two years?
What many people do not realize is that you don’t need to date in high school in order to get to know the opposite sex or to have a successful relationship in college. Do not worry that love will elude you if you do not rush into romance now.
There is wisdom in taking your time before beginning a committed relationship. For example, a study of over eight hundred high school students was conducted to determine how their dating age impacted their sexual behavior. Here’s what the study found:
Among the teens who began dating in seventh grade, only 29 percent of boys and 10 percent of girls were still virgins. However, of those who waited until they were sixteen years old to date, 84 percent of boys and 82 percent of girls were still virgins.[1] This does not mean that if you started dating early you will inevitably be sexually active in high school. I started dating in the fifth grade, which I now realize was pointless, and I still saved my virginity for my bride.
Taking your time will not only safeguard your virginity; it will also give you a better foundation for future relationships. For example, some people spend their high school years running around trying to find a date, frantic because everyone else seems to have one. Others always need to be dating someone new. As soon as one relationship ends, they jump into another because they feel incomplete without a date. They practically develop ulcers searching for their worth and their identity in relationships. Still others spend all four years staring into the eyes of a boyfriend or girlfriend. Their relationship consumes them, and by the time high school is over they are not sure of their identity or dreams.
The high school years are not meant for intense relationships that leave you feeling as if you would die without the other. This is a time to find out who you are, discover the world, and set the course for your life. You have to get to know yourself before you get to know others in intimate relationships. When people fail to do this, they often enter into relationships where their self-worth depends upon how the other treats them.
Lastly, your question presupposes that dating is the only option. It is not. Currently there is a resurgence of young people leaving behind the modern concept of dating in favor of courtship.
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[1]. B.C. Miller, et al., “Dating Age and Stage as Correlates of Adolescent Sexual Attitudes and Behavior,” Journal of Adolescent Research 1:3 (1986), 367.