How do you know if you should break up with the guy you're dating?

If your relationship has some major issues, do not move toward marriage expecting these issues to resolve themselves over time. This is denial. If he treats you disrespectfully, lovingly confront his behavior. If he listens, apologizes, accepts responsibility, and works to correct the behavior, then he is making progress. If not, then do not harbor false hope. If you want to know how the future will be with him, look at the past. The longer you wait to deal with his problems, the more burdensome they will become. Throughout all of this, he must have some personal motivation to change. All of the impetus should not come from you.

The presence of difficulties does not necessarily mean you need to break things off. It is common for couples to walk away from a relationship if things get tough. Your job is to discern if the issue is significant enough to merit a breakup or if it is a problem that can be solved. Ask your family, role models, and friends for advice, and do not try to figure out the answers on your own. Reflect on their input and have courage.

Whatever your decision, make it clear. The longer it flops back and forth, the worse it is. If you do break things off, do not worry. If he is the right one for you, then taking this time off will not hurt. Also, do not jump back into the relationship quickly if you see signs of improvement in his behavior. A person can manipulate another into letting him back even if he has not made a true change of heart. Resist the temptation, and write a letter to yourself about why you broke up and what you are looking for in a spouse. When you feel the urge to jump back into the relationship for comfort, you will have a reminder of why you are holding out for something better.

When you become close to a boyfriend, it can be easy to overlook his faults. One way to prevent this from happening is to make a calendar of his unhealthy behavior. For example, If he has a habit of being disrespectful or of flirting with other girls, mark this on a calendar every time it happens (without his knowledge). Ideally, you should leave him as soon as it happens. But if you don’t feel strong enough to let go and you have the habit of justifying his behavior, it will be hard to deny the evidence when you see the pattern documented in your own handwriting.

If you break up, you might desire to “just be friends.” But as long as one of you is still romantically interested in the other, this is not easy to do. If the two of you are to be friends again one day, you need space right now. When people try the “just friends” approach right after a breakup, it is usually because they are dragging their feet and do not want to let go. I have tried it before, and it can harm the friendship in the long run because the breakup is so drawn out.

Trust your gut. Sometimes we run around and grab what we want and rarely sit still long enough to our own hearts. If your heart is not at peace in this relationship, don't ignore that. Until you do make a decision, live the virtue of purity in the relationship. This will help you to see more clearly. Also, chaste relationships tend to end on a happier note, since the couple did not do anything regrettable.

For more tips on how to break up, click here.